Hi, its been awhile I never log in to my blog. Not sure whether how many of you are still following my blog. Most probably peoples already forgot my blog address. Well its fine anyway. For some peoples, the reason why they are active in blogging because they want to show off how great their life is. They post things that are happy, but those unhappy they will not reveal in their blog. Somehow, Facebook become my blog also because I can update a very short sentence of my thought of the day there.

This is the 52th week of 2010.

Last year 2009, I told myself I want to graduate in 2010 and find a good job.

Thanks god I got myself a job in the best foreign bank in Malaysia and the 6th biggest financial service provider in the world, HSBC Bank.

Its kind of tiring for me to travel everyday from Klang to Kuala Lumpur.

It is a good start anyway, its time for me to know how far i can climb with my own ability.

I said before, I want to work in big corporation. This is where I am now.

2010 is consider a very transforming year for me because everything changed.

The biggest changes is my relationship. I lost my 8-year relationship. Yes, love is fragile.

I not sure whether you still read my blog or not as I already delete you in my facebook and MSN.

Guess what? I hope you still reading my blog. Because the next is what I want to tell you how I feel and this is what you never give me a chance to say.

Thanks for being so cruel to me so I can get rid of you so quickly.

Of course, the process is fucking hurt and I cant even imagine hows my life gonna be without you. From 2002 until now, although you not beside me physically everyday, but you are the only person I can count on for this 8-years besides my parents. From high school to college and even long-distance relationship, we gone through almost everything.

I will never thought of you cheat on me.

But it happened.

You never sms another girls beside me. You are not flirt. You never tell me which girl is pretty and sexy because in your eyes, I am the prettiest.

But you left me too.

I can seriously tell you, I dont know why at all.

Also, I have a bf now. I guess you have heard of it.

People tend to ask me, "do you think the current he is better than ur ex?"

I would say, no comment.

Because I doesn't want to compare both of you at all.

Because you already out of my life and probably in someone's life.

I told everyone I have a 8-yr relationship before, everyone was so shocked , they was like, how come I waste 8-yr-time on you and I dont hate you at all.

Actually I do hate you.

But, no point for me to hate you already.

I have a very good life , I love my current life, it's fine for me to exclude you from my life.

You are like nothing to me now.

Because I struggling for this relationship for so many years, I am always the first to communicate with you and I know this relationship won't last long.

Sarcastic right?

Knew that it wont lasting, but somehow I still kena dumped by you.

Do you know why?

Because I always thought you will understand, you will change, you will discover it yourself although you don't tell me anything whenever there is a problem.

Time proves me wrong.

All my expectation are wrong.

What you have left to me?

Nothing.

You are being decent enough to bear with me among this 8-years.

Should I appreciate you?

Seriously, if I wish you live happily ever after with your another half here, I am a total liar.

I am not that generous.

I wont wish you and I wont curse you as well.

As I said, everything is like ashes for me.

Who cares about New Zealand.. who cares about Christchurch being destroyed by the earthquake.. who cares about those photos.

All that are the most painful memory for me.

I tried to put myself in a dangerous life. Club everyday, drinks every night, reach home late every night until my parents nearly kick me out from the house and cut off my financial resources.

Until I met my current boyfriend.

He brings me toward ups and downs, he guided me with the full of heart, he accompany me whenever I called.

He is a good people.

Miao mee is fine as well.

I thought I would have a lot to tell you. At least 3 pages or something.

But when I really want to write it out, I realised there is nothing much I want to tell u actually.

When something is gone, it's gone.

Alright, I guess it's enough for now.

Happy New Year to me and to all of you .